Overwhelming Emotions


Im not sure what happened today when I was at the gym but I go really angry and just started to cry. For the past year I have had the amazing opportunity to workout with my older sister. She is home for a year and a half with my nephew while my brother in law is stationed in Okinawa. Honestly, I wasn’t super close with my older sister until she came home. We didn’t have anything in common until I started my fitness journey and found a love for weight lifting and fitness. I finally have something in common with the girl I looked up to so much growing up and it has been an amazing year. We see each other every day and even when we aren’t together, we are always talking to each other. I knew eventually the time would come when her husband got his orders for where they would be stationed once he was home from Okinawa, but I didn’t think it would be this hard already. Orders are in and next home away from home for them is going to be North Carolina. Luckily, our younger sister will be living 2 hour away from them so she will have the amazing opportunity to spend time with our nephew like I have had the chance to for the past year. I was sad when I found out but I just blew it off because I know I have another 6 months with both of them but then at the gym I just got so upset and I didn’t know how to handle my feelings. My sister and I have been joining by our best friends who are ready to start their journey and I think tonight I just go jealous and angry that it was less time I was having with her. I know that it is selfish but she is my best friend right now. When she leaves, I don’t know what is going to happen but in the past, we have lost contact with one another. I know its selfish that I want her all to myself because she is my best friend and my workout buddy. I just want to have every minute I can with her before she leaves. I thought I could be strong until it was closer to them leaving, because its SIX months away but I don’t know, maybe Im not as strong as I thought I was. Usually when I am emotional being at the gym always helps and I leave feeling better but I couldn’t even make it through the workout tonight. I gave up and I left and now I’m sitting her crying over something that probably doesn’t even matter. Everything will be okay and we will still be best friends once she leaves, right?

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